


How to Never Stop Being Sollux Captor

by actualmuseofspace



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Bees, F/M, Music, Parody, Poetry, honestly not sure what to tag this as, it's a lot of things and nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 22:26:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9405644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/actualmuseofspace/pseuds/actualmuseofspace
Summary: There's no harm in rereading his intro again. Or again. Because you're similar. A parody of "How to Never Stop Being Sad".





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How to Never Stop Being Sad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8134262) by [inkpink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkpink/pseuds/inkpink). 



> Here's a link to the original piece, which is recommended listening before reading, although not required to understand: [How to Never Stop Being Sad]()

Repeat to yourself that you’re not really him  
Canon has proven that  
The most effective way to deal with sollux captor  
Is to pretend he doesn’t exist

Keep listening to the songs about him on bandcamp  
Overanalyze every riff you hear  
“is this a sign that we have more in common?”  
no no, you’re the one who jumps to conclusions, not him

stay up late every night staring at your phone  
either attempting to gather the courage to  
relive every moment of his deaths, these constant reminders of  
your sadness into nothing more than 2 and a half times  
or praying for just one second you could forget  
that he lead himself into death

go out for coffee four times a day by yourself  
always bring your computer, never stop coding  
make little programs and never say thank you with your tip  
try to avoid smiling as you get in your car

always talk down on yourself whenever possible  
my life is shit because I killed my girlfriend, right?  
You've already done something real bad  
It’s nearly impossible for you to cry now

Avoid your friends for weeks even though  
They’re the only sense of consistency you’ve ever  
Had in your life, if they really wanted  
To see you they’d come, but they won’t (who cares?)

Allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love  
Watch as you become symbiotic with the  
Servers in your drawers, don’t fight it  
Learn to become secondary to everyone else in your life

But most importantly drown every single one of  
Your feelings in old expired honey, you already  
Love the taste of it dripping down your throat  
Lose your fear of losing what little control  
You have, there’s no one to harm now

You don’t need other people to play off of  
You just needed a way to become him


End file.
